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Good things about being out of work By Anthony Buccino Money for nothing, check for free. Okay, actually, you do have to pay taxes on your unemployment check, and if you got a separation bonus, that's taxed even higher than your regular pay. But you can pretend you can live on an unemployment check for a little while. |
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As the unemployment in the U.S. hovers at unbelievable, the 14 million people who have been canned, booted, bumped, down-sized, fired, forced out, hated, jobless, laid off, let go, out of work, out-sourced, pink-slipped, terminated, sacked, unemployed, have plenty to worry about. But as bad as it may seem, and as bad as it may actually be, here are a few good things about being out of work: Sleep in - once you've applied to every single job opening and knocked on every door, you just have to wait for the economy to turn around No rush hour commuter traffic, or standing in the breeze waiting for the bus.
Catch up on your Soaps. What is Victor Newman up to after all this time? Watch that backlog of taped movies. Finally a chance to go through those VHS tapes. No more public restrooms, no more liner on the seat. Not to mention the odors left by strangers! No more sharing the microwave or eating vending machines' snacks. If you're lucky, you now have the house to yourself - as your spouse heads off to work. No more work you've grown to hate. Face it, after a while, all those widgets look the same. No more colleagues' stupid jokes, boring stories, annoying peccadilloes, lame excuses. No more weird lunch smells, of food you'd never eat, wafting from the next cubicle. Finally some time to clean crumbs from the toaster at home. One more thing to tick-off that Honey-do list. No more liquid pink soap, musty paper towels, preferred employee parking, long winded bosses, last minute meetings, sloppy slob desk mates. No more calls to Help Desk in India. Timmy and Tammy won't be taking your calls anymore. No more commuting in the dark. No more stiff collar shirts, no more Frankenstein shoes. Snowstorms, no problem, no place to go. Heat wave? Likewise. Stay home, stay cool, or go hang out at the library, or the mall and chill in someone else's AC. No more sharing a work station, working overtime on Saturday or Sunday, sweating widget inventory. No more other people's sounds and smells. You are now master of all that surrounds you (for now). No more stupid gift exchanges, bring-your-own snack parties, farewell parties for other people. No more chipping in for showers, weddings and other crap, for people you barely know and like even less. No more wondering, how are we going to live on THIS paycheck? No more wondering when you'll get canned. First published NJVoices/NJ.com on Aug. 4, 2011. |
Anthony Buccino Essays, photography, military history, more New Jersey author Anthony Buccino's stories of the 1960s, transit coverage and other writings earned four Society of Professional Journalists Excellence in Journalism awards. Permissions & other snail mail: PO Box 110252 Nutley NJ 07110 Where to Buy Buccino Books
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